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Town snow vs. City snow February 1, 2011

Posted by todoubled22 in Misc..
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I currently live in Manchester, New Hampshire. I love New Hampshire for many reasons and snow is one of them (against my will at some times). I also realize that Manchester isn’t New York or Boston, but it’s still city and I grew up in a town.

Growing up I had to worry about:
-shoveling
-a) walkway and steps
-b) large driveway
-c) back porch and stairs

-Going sledding!
-Drinking hot chocolate and watching cartoons

Now that I live in a city we have to worry about:
-shoveling all kinds of stuff multiple times
-moving your car so the plow can do his thing
-moving your car back
-making sure the mailman can get to your mailbox so you got to shovel more
-duck giant icicles hanging from your building
-Carefully creep far into the road to see around GIANT SNOWBANKS!

City snow is freaking ugly too. Dirt gets all up in it and footprints cover everything else. Back where I come from you would still be able to see large patches of untouched snow. The trees were always the most beautiful when they had freshly fallen snow on them.

Don’t mind me I’m just ticked off that we’re supposed to get another foot and a half. Seriously, where the heck are we gonna put all the snow? There’s no more room! This is getting ridiculous. My nightmare last night involved witnessing an evil pitch for a cruel television series and it went something like this.

‘We’re gonna pick a place like Manchester, NH and drop like a foot of snow on them. Then, we’ll drop another 20 inches. After that…how about another foot of snow? That’s just January folks. We’ll also celebrate the beginning of February with…wait for it…ANOTHER 20 INCHES!!! Oh, it’ll be great and we’ll just see how the people will react and the audience will love it and we’ll all get rich and famous.’

So I just want to say that the joke is over and we can save the rest of the snow until next December…ok fine, I can compromise and accept some snow on Thanksgiving. Gives me an excuse for not traveling.

Daydream Believer May 2, 2010

Posted by todoubled22 in Misc..
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Do you daydream? I feel like I daydream a lot. Get your minds out of the gutters people because that’s not what I’m talking about! Seriously though, sometimes they can be pretty badass. I kick ass a lot of times. One of my favorites is that I’ll be working and some pedophile will try to kidnap a kid and I run out the door grab the kid and kick the shit out the fucking prevert! I’d probably want to kill him, but I’d just ground and pound him a bit then put him in a rear naked choke until the po po arrived. They could have a car or truck and I jump in the window or bed as they drive off and still end up saving the day. I could end up in the hospital, but I guess that daydream usually ends in me getting some tail so…moving on…

Sometimes, I kick the shit out of some asshole who just disrespected one of my girls. I like that one and I always hear the theme from Rocky playing too. I like to envision meeting some hot young country star like Carrie Underwood or Miranda Lambert. They usually write songs about me so that’s pretty cool too. Then I start to think about paparazzi following us and me being on the cover of Us Weekly, but they’d put like a star on my face so people have to turn to page 37 to see who the mystery man with Laura Bell Bundy is (she hot check out her video…yeah, it’s wicked country but turn down the volume).

They’re not always pretty though. I do get the sad ones too where I think how I would handle the loss of loved ones. Yeah, sorry to my family because I’ve probably killed them all off at least once. If it makes you guys feel better I did get sad. Wait, I’ve never thought about the kids though…I would probably sacrifice myself to save them if it came down to it.

Most of my daydreams definitely involve being happy. I envision a bright future for my friends and family and I won’t give up on that. I think everyone is capable of greatness in their own lives. I haven’t always made the right decisions, but I ‘m happy and I have a vision and that is what motivates me. If you made it to this point in the post I thank you.

Going Rogue: A Single Eyebrow Hair’s Story April 9, 2010

Posted by todoubled22 in Uncategorized.
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I have a single eyebrow hair that tends to march to the beat of it’s own drummer. All the rest of the eyebrow hairs are going in the same direction. They’re all there protecting the eye and preventing things…wait, isn’t that the job of the eyelash? What the hell do eyebrows do? Well, whatever they do I have one that likes to go in the opposite direction of the others. He could be the leader because it’s also the longest hair. I’ve become obsessed with this thing. I believe I pulled it out a few months ago and the fucking thing just grew back. I’m not gonna do that this time because that shit hurts. I don’t know how women put themselves through the pain of looking good with the waxing and plucking of the eyebrows. This is me giving you lovely ladies props on that.

So what should I do with this thing? I know if I pull it out it’ll just grow back with wild abandon. I’d cut it but the same thing would happen. I’m too afraid to burn it because I’m not looking for a mini forest fire! Do they make little eyebrow brushes and I could try to train it to follow the others’ lead?

I need to figure this out because I’m really obsessing over this thing. I’m just grabbing the eyebrow hairs and seeing if it’s still the longest one…I do this over and over and over. I look at it in the mirror and it’s always facing the opposite direction like it’s taunting me ‘I’m an eyebrow hair that does whatever the hell I want to do!’ Fuck it, I’m going to pluck it now….done…end of post…but I did find my other half on You Tube.