Survivor audition tape suggestions wanted

There’s still no word on when the next round of audition tapes will need to be submitted, but I’m going to start coming up with my ideas. The next two seasons (21 & 22) will take place in Nicaragua and 2 time Super Bowl winning coach, Jimmy Johnson, will be in the next season which is currently filming. Seasons 23 and 24 will be taking place in the Philippines.

The tapes must be no more than 3 minutes long and I would need to talk about myself and why I would make a good contestant for the show. I’ve got some ideas of my own and I’ll share a few with you here and then I really want some serious suggestions from people who know me and/or have seen the show.

-failing miserably at puzzles but acting like I’m the puzzle master.

- starting a fire from scratch…or a blow torch!

- acting out challenges in the elements (elements such as being unexpected sprayed with hoses or giant buckets of water.

- talking about my susceptibility of a ‘showmance’ only to be eaten alive by some human equivalent of a Black Widow spider.

- going over Survivor strategy keywords such as ‘blindside’, ‘alliance’, ‘splitting the votes’, and ‘hidden immunity’.

- I’d like to start filming soon and maybe do something where I film the same thing a number of different times to show my continued loss of weight.

Anybody who has watched Survivor knows that it’s as much a social game as it is a physical and mental game. You need to have more people like you than the other person at the end. I don’t believe it should be that way and I’d hope I’d vote for the person I felt deserved it even if they stabbed me in the back or voted out my alliance. You can make all the strategic moves in the game, but if you lie to everyone and piss people off they won’t vote for you. We’ve seen it with Russell the last two seasons.

I think I’d be a silent assassin. I wouldn’t be the best athlete. I sure as fuck wouldn’t be the best at puzzles. I’m good at listening to people and finding some sort of common ground and I can get people to trust me. I’m also broke and would want that million dollars more than I’d want lifelong friendships because I have those.

So what do you guys think? Should the overall theme of my video be humor? How much personality should I show? I’m afraid of doing something too silly to make it seem that I’m not that serious about this, but I also don’t want it to be mundane and boring. Let’s face it, a lot of people on Survivor are part of the ‘good looking’ crowd or having serious type A personalities. I’m more of a laid back dude who can be seen as a class clown. I’m not afraid of doing things that others might seem embarrassing, so I’m looking for ideas that might fit. I’m open to any ideas that people might have. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box either. Don’t suggest eating disgusting shit because that probably won’t happen on my audition tape…ok, you can suggest it…just in case I get desperate.

Seriously, give me your ideas and I’ll think about utilizing them. Feel free to build my confidence up and tell me I’d be awesome on the show. We could have Survivor nights at Murphy’s or some shit while we all watch Todd follow the hot blonde around promising to give her his immunity idol to save her…only to be voted out and go down as a Survivor idiot…and still not get the girl!