Dating in the Dark August 31, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in television.Tags: dating in the dark, reality dating show, reality show
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Did you watch this show? I was bored and became intrigued so I checked it out. If you missed it, it’s a reality dating show where the contestants only went on dates in the dark. The idea being that a person’s personality over their looks are what’s important here.
We all know there’s a little bit of bullshit in that.
I was planning on only watching a few minutes cuz its past my bedtime and shit but I just can’t stop watching. This shit is now a guilty pleasure. The host is kinda a tool and so were the guys. I thought the women were attractive and two of them were fighting for the attention of the nerdy guy. How could I turn away?
Who am I kidding? All three of those women were out of my league.
Even though they were in the dark, the girls still knew not to like the weird, creepy guy. Funny how that still works.
He tried getting one lady to leg wrestle…
At the end, the people who like each other will reveal themselves and we’ll see if the connections continue when fugliness kicks in.
One woman didn’t see herself as ‘sexy’ but more ‘cute’ and the dude she picked was kinda shallow.
I was there to watch the train wreck with the nerdy guy. The two women were attractive and one being younger and blonder. She was bombshell enough for him to have a tough choice. The other one was an author and was more his style.
‘I pushed my body into him like I was a prostitute.’ The hot chick was funny too.
The blond bombshell wasn’t attracted to the nerd you see, so she hightailed it out of there. That left the anticipation that he would pick her and let the other one slip away. That would have been sufficient humiliation for thinking with the little head. Alas, he picked the right girl and will go down in reality dating show obscurity.
Sorta like Joe Schmoe
Do you have Paul Simon on your gym playlist? August 27, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Best Ones, Confessions.Tags: gym, gym playlist, humor
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So I’m on treadmill the other day and I’m running away to P.Y.T. (pretty young thing) and it hit me.
Who listens to Michael Jackson at the gym?
That’s when I started paying attention to what else I had in there. Here is a list of what was to follow in no particular order:
J. Geils Band
Greg Allman
Bruce Springsteen (Born to Run very apropos…I’m afraid to brag about the ‘big word’ cuz I’m on the Droid and I don’t feel like getting out of bed to get the dictionary or clickety click my way to my dictionary app)…back to the list.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Pearl Jam
ACDC, now we’re talking
John Melancamp
Paul Simon
Tom Petty…ok I can see a trend here
There is also a bunch of country music thrown in there too. Zac Brown Band, Toby Keith, Dierks Bentley, and Gary Allen.
I did make the choices when I put them on there. I only have one of those tiny ipods…don’t even have a screen. I can only put so many songs on there and you’re already familiar with my lack of technical knowledge. I don’t need to listen to kick ass, hard rocking, kill your parents type music to get me motivated. I can just do my thing while enjoying the musical stylings of John Tesh..haha just kidding.
Sometimes a video will come on the tv so I’ll put my headphones in the audio thingy (yep a technical term), but my cord isn’t too long so I gotta crouch. I’m sorry but I’m not crouching to listen to the Go Go’s Head over Heels which seems to be in the recent loop.
So that’s what’s been getting me motivated at the gym these days. What are some of your favorite songs to get you going at the gym?
Why I want to marry a tv weather girl… August 24, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Best Ones, Love Life (or lack of).Tags: humor, dirty humor, female meteorologists, Dylan Dreyer, Melissa Mack, Danielle Niles, J.C. Monahan, Cindy Fitzgibbon, Mish Michaels, innuendo, marry
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er, I mean, meteorologist…sorry.
So I hear there’s this trend across the country to hire female meteorologists. That’s pretty cool because the ones we get to see around these parts are pretty attractive. Just to name a few:
Dylan Dreyer, WHDH
Melissa Mack, WBZ
Danielle Niles, NECN (She’s a Weymouth, Ma native!)
J.C. Monahan, WCVB
Cindy Fitzgibbon, WFXT
and the legendary Mish Michaels
I’d say these are even the girls you bring home to mama (yes, I know most of these ladies are married so I’m saying someone like them). They’re really smart so that would also increase the chances my offspring didn’t grow up to be morons. There are quite a few reasons to want to marry one and here we go.
Think of sexy words that meteorologist get to say. Now think of all the innuendo that’s out there. For instance, instead of saying ‘G-Spot’ she’d call it the ‘Dew Point’. If I was married to one, we’d have some secret code words. Like if I screwed up she could say the dew point and then either say ‘not much chance of us reaching the projected dew point tonight’ or ‘great chance of us hitting the dew point tonight.’ depending if I was good enough to get sex or not.
If she starts talking about clouds and mentions the stratocumulus I could think she was making the sexy talk with me.
You can play games like ‘hide the barometer’ and ‘Save the Ozone’
and if a female anchor can ask a male meteorologist after a less than expected storm ‘Where’s that 8 inches you promised me?’ I will be able to ask ‘Are you wet and warm like the weather?’ bada bing!
Alright folks, if any of you know Danielle Niles let me know.
Movie Marathon Week August 22, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in movies.Tags: (500) Days of Summer, Equilibrium, Law Abiding Citizen, movies, Ninja Assassin, Step Brothers, Surrogates, The Losers, Where the Wild Things are, Zack and Miri Make a Porno
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I didn’t know that some asshole would steal my cable when I decided to watch a different movie everyday, but it affected my choices. Some of these movies were popular and have major stars while a few others were a little more obscure. Without further ado here are my thoughts.
Sunday
Surrogates: This one starred Bruce Willis and I remember wanting to go to the theater to see it. Glad I didn’t pay for this piece of shit. I like futuristic thrillers, but this one was a bit ridiculous. In the future, people interact in the real world through the use of robots known as ‘surrogates’. Bruce Willis has to go out into the real world to investigate murders. The point is that the movie was stupid and boring. Don’t waste your time.
Ninja Assassin: I knew what I was getting into when I decided to watch this. Another movie I wanted to see in theaters because I was a fan of ninja movies growing up. I wanted to see swords chopping arms and legs off and maybe the occasional face. Not the whole head just the face. If you want to see lots of blood and some cool chase scenes check this one out. Story is weak but action is cool.
Monday
Law Abiding Citizen: Gerard Butler and Jaime Foxx star in this tale of revenge. Revenge is one of my favorite character motivations in movies. I can cheer for a guy killing people if he’s doing it in the name of revenge especially if he’s avenging the death of his wife and child. This one was a little different for me because he goes above and beyond what a normal person would feel was ‘justified’ and at some point he actually becomes the bad guy. This was a really good movie and it kept me guessing. I was looking forward to see how it ended and I would recommend this movie to anyone who hasn’t seen it.
Tuesday
The Losers: An ensemble cast starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Zaldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, and Jason Patric. Morgan also played The Comedian in Watchmen, but you ladies may remember him better as Deny in Grey’s Anatomy where he starred as some dude who died and then came back to nail her when he was a ghost or something like that. This was another movie involving revenge and a lot of shit got blown up. If you’re up for an action comedy then you should check this out. I was entertained…and there were no boobs so go figure.
Wednesday
Equilibrium: Christinan Bale is one of my favorite actors and he seems to like futuristic shit (Reign of Fire, Terminator: Salvation…ok maybe not that many). The gun battles are really cool but I just couldn’t get into the premise of this movie that when the human race is in danger after a third world war they feel that the only way to save it is to suppress human emotions. I just thought this one was ok and if nothing else is on it might be worth a look.
Thursday
Step Brothers: I’m a fan of Will Farrell and John C. Reilly, but this was no Talladega Nights. I don’t care for many ‘stupid’ comedies and this one had a handful of funny parts. I will say that Mary Steenburgen looked hotter than ever, but I do love an attractive older woman. I think unless you enjoy the ‘dumb guy’ comedies you should stay away from this one.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno: This one seems like it would be pretty sexy and it had it’s moments, but it had more heart and some comedy. There are plenty of movies where the ugly guy falls for his beautiful friend and they end up together, but come on, how often does that shit happen? This one also starred real life porn stars Katie Morgan and Traci Lords. They play, well porn stars. This movie was cute so if it’s ever on it’s another one worth checking out.
Friday
Where the Wild Things are: I wanted to turn this movie off before it was halfway over. The kid was such a brat to his mom and the ‘wild things’ were pretty stupid. I never want to see this movie again and I don’t think you should watch it either. If you did see it have it erased from your memory.
Saturday
(500) Days of Summer: This was probably my favorite movie of the week. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel were really cute together in this movie. I find her to be very quirky (her character in Weeds was great) and very attractive. JGL has been in show biz for a long starring as the teenage son on Third Rock from the Sun, 10 Things I Hate About You and then some heavier roles in Stop-Loss and Inception. He’s also rumored to be playing the Riddler in the next Batman movie.
Anyone who has had a broken heart will be able to relate to this movie. This was technically a romantic comedy with a lot of emotion thrown in. You can really feel his pain, but I do think it’s a little over the top at times. This was an interesting movie and I would definitely watch it again.
So those were my movie choices for the week. The lack of cable and internet for most of the week did change some of my choices. If there are any movies you’re not sure about let me know and I can put them on my list. If I’ve already seen them I will give you my opinions and if not, I’ll check them out.
I plan on watching The Runaways this week, but nothing else is planned so give me some good choices.
Victory August 21, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Misc..Tags: bad neighbor, Comcast, Droid
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Comcast struck again last night. I was quick enough delivering the news of my multiple defeats at the hands of technology (and Comcast) before cable and internet went out again. Those mother fuckers are really pissing me off! I was determined to win the battle. Artoo jr. and I have been having this love/hate relationship the last few days but he was with me today.
I’m finally able to make posts using my Droid! It’s a small win but a win none the less. Shit, I’d cancel my internet altogether just to spite those corporate bastards but it’s taken me like 20 minutes just to type this. I can type really fast but my thumbs are getting sore and I kinda need them. Opposable thumbs are great for lots of stuff that’s why monkeys are jealous of us.
By the way, I wrote my movie marathon blog out on paper and its way too long to type on this thing so I hope Comcast delivers internet for a couple of hours tomorrow…assholes.
UPDATE
I owe Comcast an apology because now we think my shady fuck neighbor was switching shit around and stealing our cable. I like peace and all but don’t fuck with my internet! If I don’t post for awhile I may need someone to bail me out of jail…just kidding folks.
Technology 3 – Todd 0 August 21, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Misc..Tags: Droid, text messging issues
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This has been a horrible week for me in terms of anything technilogical. I was doing some research on Saturday and I clicked on a stupid adware virus link thingy…yes, thingy is a technical term for me! The damn adware was for a virus protection product so go fucking figure. I had some issues on Sunday and it totally ruined my magnifier thingy on my wireless mouse and blew up FireFox. I could still use the internet with old reliable Internet Explorer, but everything looks weird to me so I’m all discombobulated. I know some people out there won’t believe me but I was NOT looking at porn when this shit happened. I don’t need the internet for porn because, well nevermind why.
I got over that briefly because I was still able to use the computer for important stuff like checking my fantasy baseball team and putting useless status updates for my Facebook. All my friends love to find out which movies I was watching for Movie Marathon week and tell me which ones sucked before I got a chance to watch them…thanks for that. Fast forward to Tuesday afternoon and there’s no cable or internet. I didn’t care so much about the cable because it was Movie Marathon week and Tuesday was The Losers. I got a random cable wire coming out of the ceiling in my closet and that’s our connection. We’ve had a couple of Comcast guys laugh at it and mention how terrible our building is for this shit. Those guys really know how to build consumer confidence I tell ya.
I’m not saying I’m addicted to the internet, but I guess I can’t really say that I’m not either. Whatever, the point is that we pay for that shit and we expect it to work am I right!? The automated messgae told us they knew there was a problem and their technicians were in the area trying to correct the problem. That’s a bunch of bullshit too! We finally got fed up and spoke to a real person and they didn’t show any issues. They sent someone out to us today and the dude admitted he must have knocked something loose when he installed someone else’s cable the other day. I wanted to knock something loose in him but Mother Nature must’ve beat me to it…or he was dropped on his head by his drunk mother as a child.
So here it is on Friday and the cable is back and the internet is up and running so life is good right? WRONG! My lovable little Droid that I brag about so much decides today is the day to be a fucking asshole. The little shit tells me that my text messges are full and I need to delete some because he won’t let any more get through. I deleted all my messages and he still telling me this bunch of bullshit! I knew I should have had his memory erased. I try Googling (because I love Google) ways to solve this issue. There happens to be a Droid Forum site for questions such as this. I find the proper thread and even though the solutions are in English, they might as well have been in Swahili! I don’t speak technology and my little fucker of a sidekick isn’t cooperating with me today so I don’t trust him. Why is the bastard being so tempermental today? I think he’s mad because I’m going out to a bar tonight. If he didn’t cost so much I’d dump his ass in the garbage smasher on the detention level.
Am I one of those people who is missing the gene that allows you to understand shit like this? Was I cursed with the gene that allows me to tell you what year a particular movie came out or who the actos in it were? I have useless knowledge in my pea brain and what good does that do me? I have to go into Verizon stores looking like an idiot because I can’t figure out this stupid text messaging bullshit.
Whatever, I’m not talking to my Droid tonight…I’m going to put in George Thorogood’s I Drink Alone because I got me and my old Buddy Weiser. Nothing to understand there. Twist the cap and you’re good to go.
Shake Weight Innuendo August 17, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Misc., Uncategorized.Tags: dirty humor, humor, sexual innuendo, Shake Weight
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Have you heard of this amazing product that women can use to tone up their arms and shoulders? I think it’s like a miracle device that can help women with their, um, technique. It’s called the Shake Weight and I just can’t think of what it reminds me of.
Target sells it and the women in the commercial also seem to enjoy this product very much. You buy this thing and it does the work for you. You hold it in your hand and it gyrates back in forth and the company claims it works your arm and shoulder muscles to help tighten and tone.
The commercial shows a woman holding it in front of her chest so that must be the proper place for maximum effect. Check out the video now
I just feel like there is something I want to say about this but I just can’t put my finger on it. It’s as if it reminds me of something and I’m drawing a blank. How often does that happen? Wait, don’t answer that…
I get so excited when I see this commercial though. Why is it so hard for me to think right now? I feel like such a jerk because I can’t figure this out. I’m so mad if I had a monkey I would totally spank it right now and I don’t condone violence against animals. Oh well, here’s another video to check out while I go rub it out, I mean check it out one more time.
This video is totally not safe for work!
OOOOOOH, now I get it!
Got my non driver’s ID and I wish I hadn’t August 16, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Misc..1 comment so far
When you lose your license for DUI/DWI in New Hampshire they confiscate your license. I mean they physically take your license. I knew I was going to have to get a non driver’s ID for a $10 fee (I’ll give my thoughts about the racket the DMV runs at a later date). I got my New Hampshire driver’s license in December 2008 and about 75 pounds ago, so I figured I’d at least look like myself in my new ID which would only be a slight improvement!
You can imagine my disappointment when I get up to the counter and the lady says they’re just going to use the same photo that they have in the system. I think I was too embarrassed because of the reason I had to get it in the first place to try to argue for taking a new photo.
So my non driver’s ID came in the mail Saturday and I look the exact same as I did 20 months ago! Giant cheeks and double chin and all. I even have the same stupid haircut I had back then. I look like a giant version of Theodore the Chipmunk! I suppose this is just added punishment.
My only hope is that when I can get my license back they’ll allow me to take a new picture. I’ll even wax my eyebrows for that. I’ll have the biggest fucking smile they have ever seen on a license photo too!
Chivalry is Dead Hall of Fame Induction August 12, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Misc..Tags: chivalry is dead, The bailer, Houston Astros fan couple
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A lot of you probably haven’t seen this video or heard this story, but this dude needs to hand in his Man Card. I’m not even friggin’ joking! Here is the quick story. A young couple are out enjoying the game and this guy could have had a moment where the whole stadium cheered for him. All he had to do was catch the damn ball! Most of the guys I know would even spill their beers for the chance to catch a foul ball at a game. I’ve been to plenty of games and I want that opportunity. This jabroni jumps out of the way and if you listen closely you can hear a slight whimper. Isn’t there a Man Law that says you have to at least attempt to catch a foul ball at a baseball game?
Here’s the kicker for this pansy. He jumped out of the way and the ball hit his girlfriend! No way this guy got laid that night. He jumps out of the way like a sally AND he fails to protect his girlfriend. Does this guy have testicles? I think there should be an inquiry.
He’d probably use her as a shield if someone pulled a gun on him like old school Macho Man Randy Savage! He’ll never live this down in the eyes of his family and friends and total strangers. Check out the video.
UPDATE
I just read an interview with the couple and she did break up with him. She said it wasn’t “because of a ball” but you have to believe it played some part in her decision. She knows her guy is a girly man and she must need a real man…she’s gorgeous so we all know I’d have trouble talking to her but she lives in Houston I’m sure she can find a cowboy or somebody way tougher than that guy!
Guys, would you jump in front of the ball to protect your lady?
Ladies, would you dump your man if he jumped out of the way protecting his vagina?
“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” August 10, 2010
Posted by todoubled22 in Uncategorized.5 comments
A quote from Thomas Carlyle (4 December 1795 – 5 February 1881), a Scottish satirical writer, essayist, historian and teacher during the Victorian era.
Somebody asked why I would share this information on the internet because it is so personal. I decided back in March that I wouldn’t hold back on anything in my life because I want this ‘project’ to lead me somewhere. I’ve never known exactly how I would get where I wanted to go, or even where it was I actually wanted to go. I do believe that I’m not going to be afraid. I’m sure there are people who are disappointed in me today. There are people who were disappointed when I told them of what happened a month ago that are proud of me today. That’s a truth that means more to me than people who will cease to ‘believe’ in me now or to think that I’m not still a good person.
Over the last few years, I’ve realized that I’m stronger than I gave myself credit for and I derive that strength from my family and friends who have always stood by me. I’m better today than I was just after midnight on July 4th. I’m sure I’ll be even better on February 4th because of this experience and I’ll be sure to share key moments along the way.
Let’s take a look at some of the positives that may come from this experience:
- If I start running home from work (3.6 miles) I’ll be in great shape in no time! (unless I stop at Blake’s Ice Cream everyday)
- I’ll befriend all the homeless along the way.
- I’ll learn all the words to the songs in my tiny Ipod.
- I’ll have plenty of time to write the next great American novel (or some Romance Novels)
- I might get to play Cash Cab!
I may just turn into Forrest Gump and start running across the country. I can step in dog shit and come up with bumper sticker slogans! I could do that walking in my own neighborhood where nobody picks up shit…literally! I could run by Anthony’s house and tell his mom not to worry because I’ll remind him it’s Prince spaghetti day. Maybe I’ll find a couple of coconuts and just gallop around everywhere calling myself the King of the Britons as I search for the Holy Grail.
See folks, there’s plenty of shit I’ll be able to do so don’t feel sorry for me because I most definitely don’t deserve sympathy. I’m just gonna keep blogging and work on some other projects. I’ll spend time going to the gym and read a lot of books. Shit, that sounds boring but that will keep me out of trouble…who am I kidding, we all know I’ll be able to find a little bit of trouble for shits and giggles!
